As of one week ago today we have moved in to our new home here in Hurlach.
This last month has been an amazing month filled with surprises, and lots of busyness!
This next month will I'm sure be the same, since we are expecting a baby to come at any time.
The first few weeks being back in Germany after our outreach were a little bit frustrating, at least when it came in searching for a home for us to live in. We had been keeping ears and eyes open since November, hoping that something would be available for us when we'd return. But there was nothing. Whenever we saw something that could be free, or heard from someone that they knew someone who perhaps had a room or anything, we jumped on the opportunity! Although, it seemed that every time it was a dead end. The place had already been taken, visitors would be coming and staying etc etc. This really was causing me to panic a bit since my head was in "mommy nesting phase" and I was starting to feel emotionally desperate. There were many times were I was crying out to God and asking if he could see me, or telling him that this was too much for me. With every "no" came such a loss of hope.
It's interesting, because when I was a kid, I always thought missionaries were the most spiritual of spiritual people (whatever that means). I idolized them in my head, perhaps thinking they were even perfect. I didn't put much thought into who or what missionary was in my later teenage years, because it just wasn't something I cared about. I didn't care about God.
But now here I am, 25, married (to a German), mommy, and suddenly working as a missionary in Germany... probably one of the last places I wanted to be. And my thoughts suddenly return to my previous views of "the missionary" and the reality of my situation.
Since starting to work with YWAM this last July, I have had my eyes wide open to the actuality of who I really am. I am not perfect, I make lots of mistakes, I have trouble communicating sometimes, I still have issues with God - and these especially come out in such circumstances like: unexpectedly not being allowed to fly to my destination, not having money for groceries, not having a foreseeable home to live in etc etc. The world that is supposed to revolve around me is constantly crushed. I am again and again pushed to my limit and through this all... I have seen how AMAZING, and gracious, and glorious and huge God is!!
Missionaries suck, but God is perfect, and somehow, because of his grace, he can use me. This is what I've learned these last few months. Despite my failures, my weaknesses, somehow I can make a difference in this hurting world because of Him. I have encountered him to be more real, and relevant than I could have ever imagined. More loving than I ever thought possible. I am very much undeserving, but He still keeps on giving, surprising me, and showing me how deep his love for me is.
I know that my words will not suffice to bring all of the emotion, and all of my experiences across properly. But I dearly pray that each person who reads this, will have their own personal encounter(s) with Jesus. Or at least, be willing to be touched by the Living God. It will change your life. Just like mine has been changed, and is ever changing.
At least I'll write an ending to our find a home story (it ends well by the way). It ends like this: Just in the nick of time we received a phone call from someone who heard along the line that we were looking for something. The place sounded too big and too expensive for us, so I originally set the offer aside. But after thinking about it again we decided to inquire a bit more about it. It was a beautiful and large flat here in the village, with a balcony and a backyard, and four bedrooms and available just before March 1st! While we were debating on the possibility of taking it, and how it could work, Taylor (my sister for those of you who don't know) told us about a dream she had of moving in with us. We were very much open for this possibility, and I had thought about it once before, but didn't think she would want to. Turns out, she did! So we all prayed about it, and after a few days it was very clear we should just take it and God would provide.
So here I am, typing in my living room of this amazing gift. We are sub-letting it until November, and then we will take over as full tenants. There is more than enough space, and we're really happy to have Taylor come live with us since she will also be working on our base as staff for the next couple years!
For all who'd like to come visit, come!
I will post some pictures later. Now it's time for bed, and maybe to pray some more that this baby will come soon!
At least I'll write an ending to our find a home story (it ends well by the way). It ends like this: Just in the nick of time we received a phone call from someone who heard along the line that we were looking for something. The place sounded too big and too expensive for us, so I originally set the offer aside. But after thinking about it again we decided to inquire a bit more about it. It was a beautiful and large flat here in the village, with a balcony and a backyard, and four bedrooms and available just before March 1st! While we were debating on the possibility of taking it, and how it could work, Taylor (my sister for those of you who don't know) told us about a dream she had of moving in with us. We were very much open for this possibility, and I had thought about it once before, but didn't think she would want to. Turns out, she did! So we all prayed about it, and after a few days it was very clear we should just take it and God would provide.
So here I am, typing in my living room of this amazing gift. We are sub-letting it until November, and then we will take over as full tenants. There is more than enough space, and we're really happy to have Taylor come live with us since she will also be working on our base as staff for the next couple years!
For all who'd like to come visit, come!
I will post some pictures later. Now it's time for bed, and maybe to pray some more that this baby will come soon!
